here is my bottom

sharing unfinished work

You know when you go to the doctors, and you have a problem, and it’s somewhere godawful like… ahem, like… your bottom? Like, you have a bottom problem. And then the doctor makes you get on the table so they can have a proper, close look at your bottom. And you just want to say to them in that moment, “I know that my bottom isn’t what you want to be looking at today, and in fact, everyone else’s bottom is probably perfect and beautiful, but I just have this one problem and if you could be a bit objective here and tell me what’s wrong with it then I will be on my merry way and hopefully you’ll never have to see me in this vulnerable, ugly position ever again. I am sorry for ever existing.”

Well, sometimes showing your creative work to people feels the same, especially if you’ve got a problem that you’re hoping someone else can diagnose.

Love me, love my art Judge my art, judge me

Who else has passed a friend an earbud to listen to your latest demo, but not before you vomit excuses like “it’s not mixed yet; I haven’t chosen the final vocal take yet; I need to re-do that guitar part; I haven’t got any lyrics to the middle eight yet; I don’t know how it finishes” and then there’s a grim 3 minutes of silent listening while you feel all the tension and embarrassment in the world.

Maybe it’s a first draft, or a half-finished painting. Doesn’t matter what it is— when you let someone in to your process, and you let them see your unedited work, it’s definitely humbling. And it’s not something that we often enjoy doing. It’s like lying sideways on a table and hearing the snap of rubber gloves.

I found myself in this position (showing my half-finished work!!! not the other position!!) this week as I realised, after listening to the unmixed album on my computer, that there were a few songs which felt like they were missing something. That je ne sais quoi. I needed a second opinion, but asking for opinions on unfinished work is embarrassing and I don’t wanna!

I’ve been reading a lot of books lately. When I finish them, I read the acknowledgements. I don’t know why I thought writing a book was just a one-person affair, maybe a little editing here and there, but to see the list of people involved in a novel was really inspiring. And here was something I hadn’t considered: beta-readers.

Beta your bottom dollar

Beta-readers are people who read an author’s unpublished work, and give their feedback from a reader’s perspective. They aren’t as heavily involved in the editing or production of the novel, but their role is to reflect what general readers might pick up on.

I figured that an album should have beta-listeners, too. Even if I got feedback that I didn’t like or agree with, there would definitely be stuff I could put to good use. For previous releases, my family had been my beta-listeners, but I figured I could go a little further and ask some musician friends of mine to give their opinions, too.

It’s a vulnerable thing to ask people for their honest opinion on your work. I tried to choose 5 people who know and have liked my previous work, as well as people who I knew would give me their honest opinion. And also, importantly, people whose musical taste and work I value. Choosing the right people can take the sting out of showing your works in progress.

I sent them an email explaining my dilemma, and asked if they were interested in being beta-listeners. Could they listen through my project and offer some advice? All of them said they would love to, which didn’t surprise me but also did, because I am terrible at pressing ‘send’ on emails which ask something of people.

I uploaded my songs to a google drive folder and added a ‘readme’ document to explain what songs I wanted specific opinions on, as well as some more general questions.

And now is the exciting time where I wait for the diagnosis. The doctor’s office of the soul, if you will.

So, if you are struggling with a piece of work and don’t know what steps to take next, try and find a painting consultant, a beta-reader, a song doctor, someone who can take a look and give their expert opinion. It might be uncomfortable, but it will get you a little closer to where you need to be.

things i liked

✶ I read a couple of good books recently, my most favourite being The Will of the Many by James Islington. This was SO GOOD, it might be one of my favourites of the year. Mainly because the PLOT just keeps HAPPENING CONSTANTLY. There was literally no time to be bored in this book, so many layers! Political intrigue! Mystery! Magic school! Ancient ruins! This book has so much and I can’t wait for the next instalment.

✶ I also read Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin which seems to have been on everyone’s reading list. The main thing I liked about this was the video games which existed in the book. It reminded me to play a video game I have on my computer called Cloud Gardens, which is a relaxing plant-growing game set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

✶ Listening-wise I have been enjoying this song:

✶ I have started Lord of the Rings (maybe this section should be retitled ‘Things I’ve Read’) and have a lot of thoughts about it. Watch this space.

I hope you are having a good week! Mine has mostly consisted of avoiding the heat and reading Lord of the Rings on the train and wondering who thinks I’m cool for doing that. If you enjoyed last week’s Steely Dan issue with

Maggie

then stay tuned because I have more “guest issues” coming soon about the music, movies and art that never fails to make me happy and excited.

Don’t forget, you can support this project directly by taking a minute to do one of these things:

• buying a ‘Gneiss Guy’ tote bag on my Bandcamp

• listening to my music on Spotify and adding it to your playlists

• forwarding this newsletter to a friend!

• and if you haven’t already, subscribe:

Til next time! Be good,

Olivia 🌈✨🏔🎶