☁️ The Simpsonsssssss ☁️
Monorail, Dr Zaius & more with Miter!
One of the joys of writing this newsletter is the monthly collaborative edition, where I pick a friend, pick a piece of pop culture, and have some fun. There’s mini-essays, cover songs, doodles and photoshop collages. I mean, what’s the point of a newsletter if you can’t let loose (in a totally organised and scheduled way) once in a while?
So far, we’ve had:
Steely Dan with
The Beatles with Mara
Labyrinth with my sis Harriet
And this month we’ve got The Simpsons with Ryan, aka
!What can you expect from this issue? A whopping FOUR SONGS! Yeah, it’s a four-song newsletter! Also a written piece which might be about Planet of the Apes, but also might be about fish (you’re, uh…. gonna have to wait and see).
Miter and I got together a month or so ago to plot this issue, after I’d shared a story from a gig I’d played recently…
It was a wine cellar in Greenwich, on the night of the train strikes (although, in London, when is it not the Night of the Train Strikes?), and the audience could probably have all fit into a minivan.
After I played my set, the next artist got behind the mic and announced that this was his first ever gig. He had written some original songs and prepared some covers. I could have been put out about being billed alongside someone who had literally never played in front of people before, but at gigs I like to take everything as it comes. People always have something interesting to share.
After a couple of covers and originals, this young guy then said that the title for his next song came from a comment he read on the internet. The title, which was now the title of this song he wrote, this original song he wrote, the song that he had written completely independently of anything, was ‘Can I Borrow A Feeling.’ He thought it had a ring to it. It sounded like a good song title!
This guy then started to pluck his guitar and give us a folksy ballad, and I felt like I was losing my mind. How — HOW could this kid not know that ‘Can I Borrow A Feeling’ is already a song?! A classic song, surely! It’s Kirk Van Houten’s debut single! It’s from the Simpsons!
After ‘Can I Borrow A Feeling (No, Not That One)’ wrapped up, the songwriter did admit he eventually found out that it was also the title of a Simpsons song. But it still boggled my mind how that could bypass someone.
Then I realised.
Can you remember the first time you figured out that you were old? Like, I know I’m only 32 and a lot of people would say, “Hey! That ain’t old!” but I am not the ‘generation du jour’ anymore!
My first ‘oh god I’ve aged’ moment came to me when I was shopping in Westfields Mall and cried in an Urban Outfitters, because I didn’t understand the clothes. Having a guy not know about ‘Can I Borrow A Feeling’ was a close second.
You’re telling me the young’uns don’t know about ‘Flaming Moes,’ or ‘we’re just a bunch of crazy guys and dolls’ or ‘money can be exchanged for goods and services?’ That they’ve never even had this song play in their heads on a loop?
There was only one way to fix this. Send out a BROADCAST (newsletter) to the MASSES (200 people), with some of the best Simpsons songs, covered by myself and Ryan.
🗺 Putting North Haverbrook on the Map
I originally dreamt big and wanted to cover the entirety of ‘Oh Streetcar!’ which is The Simpsons’ take on a musical of Streetcar Named Desire. Mainly for that moment where Flanders rips off his shirt and belts “STELLAAAAAA! Can’t you hear me yell-a?”
Alas, after two separate attempts, the key changes, tempo changes, and Blanche DuBois impressions became too much. So I pivoted to Monorail, and what a time I had!
🚝 ✨ Monorail, by Olivia
🦧 The Book of Simian Prophecy, by Miter
“Children, never forget, the free ape is he who does not fear to go to the end of his thought”
- Dr. Zaius
Oh, hi there, friends. This is
. You may remember me from newsletters such as Washed Memoir in Real Time and TV programs such as Salon Du Monde, Fremont.When Olivia begged me to play Troy McClure in her upcoming Simpsons Newsletter, I said, “It was the role I was born to play.”
RIP to the GOAT, Phil Hartman.
Billy, did you know that Planet of the Apes was originally a “social-fiction” novel written by the French Man Pierre Boulle? It’s true!
Boulle’s other well known novel, The Bridge Over the River Kwai, was made into an award winning film inspired by his experiences as an Allied prisoner of war in World War II. The Bridge Over the River Kwai draws on Boulles’s two years as a POW in forced labor; building what came to be known as the “bridge of death”. Boulle won an Oscar for the screenplay even though he did not write it. The writers that adapted the book for the screen were blacklisted as communists.
Boulle saw some shit and his conclusion: men and monkeys are pretty much the same.
Well, Boulle didn’t say that, but I think it is safe to assume.
It is a profound statement along with a comic statement, or perhaps a comically profound piece of art. Ripe for satire or perhaps a piece of satire itself. Given these satirical caverns, this audio satire of the Simpsons satire of the Planet of the Apes and Falco, should be free of copyright infringement.
🦧✨ Dr Zaius, by Miter
I’m sure that the relatively new owners of the Planet of the Apes’ intellectual property--the Walt Disney Corporation--will agree. If not…did I mention this is mainly a promotion for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes coming in 2024? I can’t wait to see that production in the theaters.
I’ll also look forward to the next franchise installment: The Curse of the Creature of the Kingdom of the Basement of the Alamo Near the Planet of the Apes (2027).
Let’s say you heard an ape talk. That’s right, an ape talking just like you and me when visiting the zoo one day with your wife and kids and parents…and maybe some friends came?
What would you think? What would your FRIENDS think? What would your PARENTS THINK? What would your KIDS think? Most importantly, what would your wife think.
Like Kent Brockman; I, for one, welcome our new ant ape overlords.
One thing is clear.
Humans will destroy themselves in a cataclysmic war and the Great Ape Society will rise from its ashes. But only for the “Great Apes”, right?
But I say, those Apes ain’t so “Great”. They are bound to repeat our same mistakes and so on and so forth.
Planet of the Apes. Planet of the Humans. HUMANS. APES. WE ARE ALL THE SAME. Think about it man. We are the monkeys. IT WAS US ALL ALONG!
These are the mirrors being held to our society as reflected by the intellectual property that is the Planet of the Apes and all of its subsidiaries, spin-offs and merchandise thereof. There are assuredly nerd dissertations written about the xenophobia, racism, beastiality, animal rights and tribalism within the Planet of the Apes lore.
I’ll let the nerds speak for themselves.
During my deep research into Planet of the Apes, I came across this animated 70s TV series which seems to have some direct influences on the Simpsons musical. It came out a little before my time, I’m not THAT old.
However, I am very old.
I am 44 years old. I watched some of the first Simpsons episodes live as a wee lad in Colorado and the episode “A Fish Called Selma” came out when I was in high school. A lot has changed since the time this episode came out. The show admittedly gets a few things wrong that now seem a bit cringe.
For example, a big part of the gag in this episode is that a fish fetish derailed Troy McClure’s acting career, necessitating his sham marriage to Selma Bouvier (Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure).
Today, Billy, sham marriages are no longer needed because fish fetishes are widely accepted.
Thanks to technology, people can use virtual reality to make love to whatever species, animal, anime, or type of fish that they want.
How things have changed since my day, Billy.
Why, I might even be older than Kirk Van Houten when penning his hit “Can I Borrow a Feeling”. Covering this classic tune took all of my inner sad old man to muster. So, overall--an easy lift.
I’ve also been struggling since losing my job at the cracker factory, my boy doesn’t respect me any more and my wife is dating an American Gladiator. His name is Buzzsaw, and he is actually a very nice man.
I’m working on my next song and it is a desperate, lonely, cry for help.
🍖 Steamed Jams, aka Bonus Tracks
Miter and I also decided to put together two extra songs, by creating a backing track and then swapping them over to add vocals. My Casio keyboard performed well when emulating the schmaltz of Kirk Van Houten’s win-her-back anthem:
💗 ✨ Can I Borrow A Feeling?
And Miter did an excellent job of encapsulating those upturned dustbin bongos that Bart plays in Happy Birthday Lisa:
🍰 ✨ Happy Birthday Lisa
And there you have it. On reflection, perhaps four songs for a newsletter is CRAZY, but here at ✨ A Constellation ✨ , we like to go the extra mile for you.
Don’t forget to subscribe to Miter’s newsletter, here:
And if you haven’t already, become a subscriber of A Constellation today:
And just before I run off to catch this train, I have a note for you.
STELLAAAAAA! Check out some ways you can support me & my music:
buying a ‘Gneiss Guy’ tote bag on my Bandcamp
listening to my music on Spotify and adding it to your playlists
forwarding this newsletter to a friend!
Til next time! Be good,
Olivia 🌈✨🏔🎶
Holy smokes.... Excellent. The "glove of love"!!!
🤣🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌 yessssssss brb off to rewatch seasons 3-10 in full. So brilliant, chaps. Well done 👏